Social Media
Stop Asking Me to Join Facebook!!!
Sigh…
I didn’t want to write this post. It is risky.
With more than 500 million active users as of July 10, Facebook is one of the most popular websites in the world. In fact, it was second only to Google in a June 2010 internet traffic study. Everyone and their dog seemingly has a Facebook account.
But I don’t.
Go ahead. Make the “You don’t have Facebook?!?!” face… I’ve learned to steel my will against such base nonverbal tactics.
But that is why this post is risky. As soon as I mention that I don’t haz the Facebooks, I run the risk of appearing like a technological Luddite, some sort of crazy anti-privacy conspiracy theorist, or an old dude that just wants the kids to get off his damn lawn. Wait a minute, even our grandparents have Facebook accounts now. So, I guess it is just anti-tech or anti-change, and 100% head-in-the-sand.
But I’m not anti-tech. In fact, I love tech. I yearn for an iPad and an iPhone 4. I was an early adopter of PDAs back when a PDA was an inappropriately timed kiss. I was one of three people in a Freshman floor of 55 to have my own computer. I was programming computers in 7th grade. Ultimately, if it is new technology, I want to learn more about it and understand how it can make our lives easier.
I’m not anti-change, either. Back in the day, my father would go into minor depression when my mom would change around the layout of the house for Spring cleaning. Not me; I awaited such change with great anticipation. In fact, I favor change: I routinely find myself championing change within my organization, converting to new philosophies when old ones become outdated, and continually looking at the big picture regarding things yet to come.
Yet here I am with no Facebook… and not wanting Facebook… even when everyone else around me wants to have Facebook. So, why have I uncharacteristically dug my heels in on not getting a Facebook account? Here is my best shot at an explanation.
Disclaimer: Although I feel there are several logical explanations for my actions, I acknowledge that my decision is also a very emotional one. I fully acknowledge that my mentality may be rooted in irrationality or subconscious factors for which I cannot comprehend. Cest la Vie.
- I distrust Facebook’s stance on privacy. Even with recent changes to how Facebook handles privacy, I feel there is a definite trend as to where Facebook wants privacy to go. Although I can control the information I provide, I cannot trust that a network of friends will approach the network with the same level of scrutiny. Not that I’m a shady character, by any means, but I want to keep some level of separation between my personal and professional lives and how others perceive them.
- I don’t support Facebook’s leadership. Perhaps the alleged statements that Facebook’s CEO Mark Zuckerberg hacked into ConnectU are false. Perhaps the IMs he sent to a friend aren’t real. Perhaps I shouldn’t believe them. But I do. And because I do, I find myself in a position where I want to “vote with my wallet.” In other words, I don’t want to help him succeed, and the best (and very limited) way I can do that is by not using Facebook.
- I’m already feeling stretched with other social media tools. I have an active Twitter account, my network is 100% complete on LinkedIn, I put up designs on Dribbble, and I maintain this blog/personal website. If that wasn’t enough, I also use Yammer at work to communicate throughout my company. Keeping these sources of information about me and my network updated on a consistent basis has already grown challenging. I shudder to think about what life would be like with a Facebook account tying me to obscure distant family members, former friends, and friends-of-friends.
- I cannot control how I am presented. One thing I very much like about all the social media tools I currently use (Twitter, LinkedIn, Dribbble, my site, etc.) is how I can more tightly control how the outside world sees me. One concern I hear from many Facebook users is about the dilemmas they are put in by their friend network. For example, if a person has posted something that another set of friends shouldn’t see, the cat may already be out of the bag before the concern can be resolved. Or perhaps, a friend-of-a-friend posts a picture of you that you don’t want posted. You are in their network, yet not close enough to tactfully request that the photo of you be removed. Now, I don’t want to go too into-the-weeds here, but I would like to note that the other tools I mentioned provide the user with what I consider to be better control over such situations. With great interconnectivity comes great responsibility, and let’s face it, we all know (and are friends) with some people that can be pretty irresponsible at times. The sheer size of the Facebook network amplifies the potential for our friendships to define us more than we define ourselves.
- Now I’m the minority… an underdog… and I have to stick with it. Here we veer into the admittedly emotional side. At the same time you might think I’m crazy for not having Facebook, there is a kernel of joy inside me that “I’m not the norm” or “just like everyone else.” I’m an underdog. Okay, so I am just like the other people that don’t use Facebook. But you know what? All twelve of us will be drinking juice in the comfy chairs off to the side the dance, happy to be special, unique, and under-doggy. Tease us if you will.
So there you have it: my best guess as to why Facebook isn’t for me.
Let me end by saying this: Please, everybody, stop asking me to hop on the Facebook train. If you really care about our relationship, use one of the other bajillion methods I have to contact me. Put your pictures in a public folder on Dropbox and send me a link. If you are really important to me, and I’m really important to you, we will be in touch.
Hugs and Kisses,
Gary
Pushing Dunbar’s Number
As of today, here is what my follower and following count on Twitter looks like:
Something definitely happened to my attention once I began following 120-140 people: Monitoring my Twitter feed became much more taxing.
I attributed this largely to the fact that I recently began following more UX and game design professionals – some of which you might consider to be “prolific tweeters.”
However, as I looked at many other people’s Twitter accounts, I discovered that these people also had follower counts somewhere in the 60 – 200 range. Aside from the social media hypermarketers who clearly used their tool for information dissemination vs. meaningful exchange, there really seemed to be a trend regarding the numbers of people that these accounts are following.
Was there something about a “manageable” size limit for Twitter followers? I decided to research it a little…
Behold: Dunbar’s Number
Maybe I’m a little late to the party, or maybe I’m just a little too removed from my old Psych degree to have remembered the concept, but it boils down to this: Dunbar’s Number is a theoretical limit to the number of people that a person can maintain stable social relationships with at any given time. Many place this number “around 150.”
If we accept this theory as mostly accurate, we may be able to speculate on what Dunbar’s Number means in this era of ever-expanding networking:
- People will find themselves getting overly-taxed if they attempt to manage a TRUE network of relationships (what I would consider to mean relevant back-and-forth dialogue and true concern for each other’s wellbeing) that is larger than about 150 people.
- If you are on a follower list for a person that has many followers (perhaps 450+) and you are not engaged in meaningful conversation with that person on a regular basis, you might be able to assume that your communications are not seen – i.e. you are not part of that person’s “important 150″ or “inner-circle.”
- Excessive following (i.e. follower counts greater than 1000+, for example) becomes a “dog-and-pony” show for a meaningful relationship; true relationships simply cannot exist at that volume. Assume that people employing this strategy are using their accounts for information distribution/marketing/customer support/etc. and change your expectations for the quality of the relationship accordingly. It may be important to note that I’m not saying there is not value in this approach, just that it is not a true relationship network.
- Twitter list functionality can be employed to make parsing multiple networks of relationships easier, but point 1 from above will still hold true – there may just be a true cap to how many relationships we can effectively manage at one time.
It will be interesting to see if Dunbar’s Number receives further validation or if it is disproven as networking continues to evolve in the increasingly complex social media landscape.